What can you do with a billion dollars?


ALSO READ: Berkshire Hathaway: How Warren Buffett REALLY makes money


You may think, as you sit at home in your boxers, that a billion dollars could buy you anything you can dream of. We’re here to squash those dreams. Sure, you can buy a lot of stuff with that kind of money but can you buy everything? We’ve put together a list of the things you can and cannot buy with a cool billion dollars.

Something you can’t do with a billion dollars:

  • Find love. According to hit songs by The Beatles, Blackstreet, Ralph Tresvant, Club Nouveau, K-Ci, Young Dre and Tamar Braxton, “money can’t buy you love”. Money can only buy you material things. Love, happiness, immortality — you won’t find that in your billion dollars.

Something you can do with a billion dollars:

  • 200,000,000 Egg McMuffin meals. Now that McDonald’s has all daybreakfast why not make a run for the nearest double golden arches and buy out every single Egg McMuffin in North America. For those who want to die slowly and painfully as a result of extreme cholesterol levels, this plan is for you!

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Something you can’t do with a billion dollars:

  • Buy the Clippers. In 2014, Steve Balmer of Microsoft bought the Los Angeles Clippers for 2 billion dollars meaning that the billion dollars you have could only buy you half the Clippers. Unfortunately, your half only includes Brandon Bass and all the athletic therapists.

Something you can do with a billion dollars:

  • Buy the entire NHL? Ok, maybe not the entire NHL, but you could buy the Carolina Hurricanes 4 times over. Unfortunately, while that means you get 4 Jeff Skinner’s, you also get 4 Lee Stempniak’s. Luckily, for you, the New York Rangers are valued at over a billion dollars meaning they are out your price range so you don’t have to with heartbreak every playoff season.

Something you can do with a billion dollars:

  • Not pay taxes. Besides all the tax breaks that you’d get for being a billionaire and presumably being a big shot at a multinational investing firm or corporation, you probably have a ton of money in some offshore bank that the government doesn’t know about in Switzerland or the Cayman Islands.

Something you can do with a billion dollars:

  • Exchange your money for 361 billion Zimbabwe dollars. The richest person in Zimbabwe is Strive Masiyiwa, with an estimated net worth of only $829 million so you could hold the honor of being the richest person in Zimbabwe.

Something you can’t do with a billion dollars:

  • Print that billion dollars. I dare you to ask the U.S. treasury to print all the money.

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Something you can do with a billion dollars:

  • Burn a billion dollars. If by some chance the treasury can get you all those crisp bills, you can really make people mad by burning all of it. Look, some people just want to watch the world burn. That could be you.

If you find yourself with a billion dollars please be responsible with it. Don’t just buy the entire country of Zimbabwe or a bunch of sports teams or try to find love in the club. Be responsible, buy and eat so many Egg McMuffin’s that your heart stops and you die a legend.

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